1St day of breakup, it was the 24th, one day before our aniversary. Why did i do such a stupid thing. Of everything else, i said to go our seperate ways. Haiz. Cannot imagine she never say no, but agree to it. Seriously sucks to the max. Night time, went drinking with Ace, Mike and Ace's friend i tink.. dunno who is she yet also. Than drink about 2 bottles of tiger than go home. Lucky for mike that he have cash, if not i really do not know what to do after breaking up with her.

Haiz, 2nd day more worst, morning got a hangover, knowing that she is outside make me worry about her safety all that. After all, I'm so used to protect her without her knowing. She might say that i did not give her anything, care? concern? security? whos the one that always suffer in the end? Always miss the days that she is scared and need me to embrace her. But that ivory is long gone in the past. For past weeks, months, really felt that everything i do, wear, eat, really everything is wrong. Explained several times but still she does not get it. For what really piss me off is what she said to everyone. Can be very nice to everyone, but not me, her own bf who has been supporting her for 2years or more.

Today is the 3rd day sort of. Tried keeping myself busy like shit, but everytime when i finish some of my work, the memories of her keep flashing back to me. To me, how cute she was when she needs me to protect her. But now till present, all she needs is a punching bag, really funny how she change, really miss the days where she crys infront of me, needs me for real cases. For now, its like too late for regrets too. Since i and her make up our minds to go our own ways. Its a damn shit thing even at bus thinking of her. Thought of one time she crys when the crockcoach disturb her while she sleeps. I got to rush back home to see her cutest face cry. I laugh for a while and at that time i really glad that happens. For so long in time, she finally needs me. Needs not as in i need you to bring water for me, need me to do this do that. But a time where i felt that i am the only one in the world for her. But these times are over.

She only cares more about everything to make her perfect, but doing it wrong. If she does it right, everytime i call her, i will not feel any treat to argue with her. A call to say dear dear, you eat le ma? ..... even if i say haven, i will still get a "poor thing... later finish must remember to eat wo".... ~ But for months, that was just a dream i guess. All i get is a more black face and more arguement. Now is 7pm, still thinking of her while opening this blog. Maybe to her now i opening this blog without her knowing is like she gets what she wants.

In the past when i break up or give up on someone, she could say that in the past, i did all this for a bunch of stupid girls... but now, who is the stupid one now. Realllllly really miss her alot. Almost cry at the bus but only to act that i am yawning. Before that, when i from Tuas go back to Main base, almost cried too because of missing her. Upon going up the lift to lvl 2, Gosh my eyes are damn red but manage to keep it down and swallow everything. A guy have to be tough i guess. So far now really upset and confuse on what i should do. Now lonely and nothing to do. Looking at her pictures and suddenly thought that she looks more beautiful than usual. I guess this must be like " Cherish one another as if you lost them, they will transform into an angel flying off from you thus leaving you".

Now 5mins is like 5hours while i blog, trying hard to make myself busy again b4 i gonna cry. Miss her kawaii laughter, her cutest reaction when bugs meet her, and beautiful figure esp her arse. Going to miss out all of that suddenly is like Dooms day, judgement day, whatever you call it. If really time could turn back, i will really want to take back my words. But what is done cannot be undone. what i said will forever be in my and her memories. I guess this is it. 2years, 9months of relationship is over. What is going to happen in future. I do not know. Only to say that i miss her so much. I really love you. I wanted to marry you. Hate myself for what i said. But i'm too tired, too xin ku and have no confident in myself anymore. For all these years i tried that you said it was like useless things i do. I can only now take one step at a time and try to hold myself in. Maybe days to come, weeks to past, months that goes by, if we really fated to be together forever. I hope that we will not argue anymore, you will not blame me for everything, Give me something called hope*, and i will be your concern man again. Till then. Lets just try to live with it.


Yours, a br0kenHeart3d Andrew<-3 I LOVE YOU <-3