Hmm.. today was quite piss off at work.. so dun wanna talk about it.. Den after work, went home pom pom le, check e-mail than prepare to go out eat dinner with mike. Went to ginza plaza slack for quite some time.... den hmm... went to 3rd level west coz cafe to eat dinner. Not bad at all the food.. at least 10 times better den BBQ chicken. Wonder y people like to eat things with olive oil sia.. too healthy for me liao :

But if really to eat at ginza (west coast plaza) again, i think i will go back to that cafe to eat :D For like 10 bucks, eat till u siao!! if those big eaters i think order the fish and chips sure scare to eat fish again, i see mike's food = 2 fish + fries.. wa cow.. i dunno how he manage to finish eating it lo.. if me i sure eat 1 den BAo liao. (^O^) write till here first le.... just finish lan gaming at zoom then come back home. Sianz tomolo work at 7am, lots of stuff to settle.

Woots.. now 11.43pm le.. just finish talking with J.. i was shock when she msn me.. but really happy chatting with her :D sort of quite long time never chat wif her le also. Miss chatting with her this few days.. Hmmm .. i tink like 1 week lo.. Seems like very long le.. haha!! Today issh sunday... i slp slp slp slp and slp cause a bit emo~from yesterday 5 am slp till this morning 10am, check e-mail, msn.. no one online.. den eat lunch le. Go back slp.. haha i pig rite?? den slp till 9 pm lo.. tonight dunno how to slp liao!!!!

Now drinking me beer and slack.... J got to ZZzzz le.. so i guess i dota awhile den see she online anot later on. HMMM...now left 1 bot of beer, haha.. today very happy... thnx to J.. happy chatting wif u always de :D next week going to timbre :D wish this week past very fast lo!! den can go down check it out le. last month wasted $300 on my PSP.. i think with 300.. i can go there often le if its good.. haha. Now listen to the song Girls Generation "GEEE" nice :D i've been repeating that song when i going to work on my PSP but doesn't feel sian at all... Remember my past when i ITe ... den i siao on SUN YANZI lo.. the chao kuai Gan... hahaa... repeat till i remember the lyrics lo... Too bad i dunno korea language.. mst learn liao.. haha~

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blog till here first le.. happy that time den i blog :D

Now 6pm.. just chat on the phone with her while drinking beer.. From today morning i keep telling myself its not possible its not possible..den in the afternoon i was rite. really not possible~ Maybe thats my life or what.. but den maybe because of what everything is happening, i find that in life. even people accept me or dun accept me, I'll still be the same i guess untill i die, i guess i just have to face reality and know that being alive is miserable. But i'm still glad i'm alive... To see how the world changes to, how everyone change, how everything change.... Its just like a pass by thru this world and see everyone how they live their life.



Luckily i make myself, pyscho myself that shes just kidding me. she does not love me... i'm not allowed to be love anymore.. Than when she tells me that, i'm calm by then~ I guess a part of life that everyone have to know and expierence. Listen to the song for like 100 times or more.... really like that song even thou i dun understand everything as it is japanese. i find theres really no love story now. Write till here le.. now drinking beer while blogging , maybe i sot sot.. haha.. haizz.... Emo a few days before my pay den maybe buying things which i dun really need will comfort me ba. Long time never go pub /club le.. maybe find one day to go.... Hmmm.. J... if u reading this help me tag tat time u say wat pub got live band de.. TY~!

This few days a bit bored den too bored till think of sad things.. But i keep trying my best to 4get, tats all i can do. once reach work place, den concentrate on the work there without thinking of anything at all. Now 6pm le... thought of alot of things i am doing and really i do not know whats going to happen in the future, what will i be like... how will i change to be like~

Today morning just saw my turtle pouncing the water den notice tat there were 3 of them le. thought left 2 only. Quite healthy now the 3 of them. But missing one den become ninja turtle full team le ~ Damn bored now again. Think later in the evening then go park walk walk with my PSP and my tiger beer ba~ Now my laptop at office while i am using a spare, today no dota no games no nothing. Just me myself and i. Tomorrow hope can use Windows 7 le than can upgrade my skills by exploring this new OS.

Hmmm... just now wake up around 1am ... its like WTH! cause took a nap from 8pm like that den wake up feeling refresh~ Than now eat a bit of tibits while watching anime. Today at company a bit piss off by somethings but still feel alright as i'm not the one getting screwed. Tomorrow sure got alot of things to do also le.

Just notice today that my pants a bit spoilt lo. Damn pai seh that my pants got torn.... ..... ..... and torn at some spots thats a bit obscene lo. Just really if the hole gets bigger, then everyone can see mi Ahem liao : Guess i need some new jeans again too.. haha. Next month must buy le. Yawnzzz.. no 2.40am already. Guess i will stay up till 3 plus than get another nap again. Hmmmm... J, u every night like a nightcat sia... always online so late de still say me. Haha. I wan me PD~!!

YES!!! FINISH UPDATING BLOG TEMPLATE!!!!

Hmm... miss mo mo ren.~

Just reach home.. now issh 6.30pm~ bath how le.. on air con den now blogging. Soooo pain..!!! today damn suay, do things do till blur blur like sotong den when i open the stupid door to the meeting room den i KIAP my fing3r. Zzzz~

Shag, now drinking moi coca cola and enjoying my air con first before later chat with all my friends. Hmmm.. anyways feel a bit guilty lo, cause never go to Paul's wedding and i totally forget about it wors~ But den okie la he.. hes a good man. Hope he enjoy his honey moon than come back he sure busy like siao le. haha. Tomorrow issh sure a busy day liao, need to move all the PC desktop and laptops and everything out to account for~ Sure sweat de!

Hmmm.. yesterday have a nice msn chat with Princess J, not bad, at least can talk to her and very happily somemore lo~ at least can click with her not bad le. Hmm.. haven talk to her on the phone yet cause her HP spoil..... i wonder how will she sound like also... later slang here and there den i hard of hearing also...haha! Know quite a few frens thru online den enjoyed talking to most of them. YES!! Come August!! YES!!! Finally did it. And waiting for $$ to roll in le :D at least for now.. maybe i got my one C le.. haha which is career... maybe dunno wanna get car anot sia... i suck at directions... i think if i were to go from point A to point B, i might take an average 3 times longer then normal pple :X

Hmm.. blog till here first le, going to find new blog skin for my blog :X a bit sianz see my blog like tat ~~ haha.

Just reach back home.. now using my laptop to blog le..... I guess yesterday was the most terrible day of my life when she said not to contact anymore. Got to move on but i do not know how. Got to live and be tough again. Really hate this sort of life.... i tried to change but den i give up........ I guess no one will really love me.. Always treat me like and idiot even when i know they will treat me like tat.... no more trying~ Hate trying and keep getting nothing back and with no results. FCK! really hate this more and more~

great. Now she wants to break contact. Just woke up and now on e cab back home. Life is so screw up. Sucky life it is. Think later see if anyone online to talk. If not than i go sleep le.

now at east coast chalet. With my fren, the chalet was a failure. Alot of trouble. Alot of sadness. Hate my life! When go home than blog more. Now use hp very hard. Haix.

3.40am.. just finish scrolling the park while drinking beer.. Have a few thoughts while sms her.. Dunno what to do now. Very confused. How i wish i can turn back time. Make some adjustments then every thing will be alright. But thats not the truth. Everything i dream of.... everything i thought of~ Now it does not seem to be alright.

Even right now i have no idea what am i doing.. just following my heart, But the more i follow my heart.... the hurt i get is getting more. I gave up. I dunno what am i thinking. I have no idea now whats going thru my mind. Scared that even i will not be able to give her the life she wants... Afraid. Maybe its best i give up? I dunno. WTf am i doing now. Tooo confuse to blog. Felt like its the end of the world. Its really not the same now... everything that i do now doesn't seem right... which should conquer me... my heart or my ego. Dun want to think anymore le ......... I hate reality.. Fck the world~

Today damn piss off... almost throw my resignation letter lo...Heng everyone ask me not to if not i'll be jobless now. Still having a headache, yesterday slp around 2 hours like that den go work. Den at work DUm Painkiller for my headache~ Sianz.... Still got alot of things to do at work den tomolo still need to OT cause of some screw ups and need to clean the shit lo...Zzzz~

Now trying to rush my work den hope everything will be fine. At least i already pour out what i think about her now i feel a bit more fine as i kept it for months le, lying to myself everything will be okie. I can 4get. i can do this and that... blah blah blah~ Now facing the reality in life makes me a bit more carefree le. Find myself a bit more better i guess? I mean after expierencing too much stuff going on with my life, lots of things i may not get angry about (except for today).But i guess this is work. So in order to earn more, i guess i got to dong till things get better ba. For love life, i guess i'm still waiting.... Really i dunno about myself sometimes. Had a dream while i sleep for 2 hours, can call it nightmare or what, i dreamt that we patch but in my heart, i'm too scared to face her family again as for the past i guess i never make a good impression and making them hate me so much.

Even thou i love her so badly, want her so badly, the heart inside me is terrified of whats gonna happen from now on. The time now is 7pm. Still looking at her sms. Dunno how to reply her le. As shes wif him now i guess i got to still give some space if not i'll really be a 3rd party liao le. But maybe for now it is good as the work load for me now so siong, maybe the decision was right to give up~ if not if i OT, i guess she will be angry with me again de.So i can say maybe thats for the better now. Write till here now le. Maybe later on i'll kio mi room first ba.~

Maybe everyone can say i am stupid, gong, bai che, idiot, baka... doesn't matter to me. Its been very long time i felt my heart beating again. I wanted her. But just now looking at her that shes going crazy upsets me. Why let her choose and let her be the one who suffer. I rather it be me and see her happy again. Thats y i choose to give up. Maybe its best for her as i see lots of improvement to her with him rather then to me.

Now just reach home, what can i say, Cannot do anything more than i can do now. Heart cursing myself why i choose this road again. ~ Pain! Only beer can smooth it's hurt. Drinking beer again and let myself into another world of mine which i guess only this way is the best. Can't help it but to be the one who leave again. Hating myself more and regret more every little single day. Always giving up at the wrong time. Everything i do is wrong. But to make things up~ it doesn't matter at least i hope i can do some amendments and really hope that i can make her life more happier.

Talked alot this afternoon to her. At least her family likes him more than me. To me, maybe that is also important as he may need some changes to make her happy 4ever. But told him to not make her unhappy again if not i will be the first one to jump to her and try to take her back~ Really felt stupid to give up. Hate the feeling now. Hate myself to be a quiter. I guess thats me, andrew, the only stupid guy in the world.

Remembering the past when i make till all her family piss off by me... To me, maybe its worth it or not worth it, i guess even thou i see progress in her and her mum, at least they started talking sometimes, argue sometime which cannot be avoid i know. Hope she and her family will be happier without me ba i guess. Even if she choose me, i never told her this but i'm scared i could not make it up to her family, relatives...etc Now maybe i am labeled someone who cannot take care of her, not a good guy, not even someone worth for her. I guess thats what i get for butting in too much and trying to make a change. In the past i'm glad that she and her mum get along because they are both piss off by me, seeing them stand up and aiming me. ~Hurt i get. But seeing them as mum and daughter not argueing... very glad for them. At least i tried.

Today got a big headache in the morning and take MC. about 2 days never slept properly le. Maybe i got insomia or what le, tomorrow still need go to work. I guess i got to go in earlier as i missed alot of work today. Think that my colleges cannot handle. Tomorrow even headache, i think got to work more le, work are pilling up every single day. Got to work hard for these few months also. I guess i need to get my job stable more and get more pay den i do nt need to worry so much about every single thing.Haiz..... LIFE SUCKS TO THE MAX.

i really have no idea what i am doing now... But, i guess follow my heart again ba.. just one last try? I unblock ivory and started talking to her. Really cannot stand the pain in my heart anymore that she is with another guy. Knowing that she is single from HuiL, thanks for letting me know, somehow, i feel that even thou feel upset but i find that i know a bit more about myself that i should not let this chance go anymore, if not, i will sure regret.

Keep my fingers cross, i dunno what am i doing now. Bt den just drinking beer, smoking and follow my heart all the way.... if really cannot. i guess I have to do it all the way now. Any thing that happen.... i guess that is life and without regret, i should really do serious and delete everything i have and live a life without her popping up.~ Really hurt the last time, dunno and maybe this is the last time i try? the hurt makes me really really bad till i almost cannot breathe.... the thought that she compare me the last time, our relationship... everything... i hate that! i hate every single thing of that~ even thou i remember telling her to choose him, FCK!! choose me instead!! haiz... i hate all those feelings...~~ blog till here... fcking going to drink again till i drop~@!

Hmmm.. Monday liao le. Today quite a peaceful day, although i late for work, but everythings fine! :D Being single never felt so better before, but now age 26 liao soon :S still got 2 months more to my birth day liao~ haiz. Very lao liao. more and more lao = going to die soon liao. Hope die after i claim my CPF!!!! den can go enjoy before die~~ lol...


Now talking at alamak, waiting for my food to come back home. Not bad, know alot of pple there den somemore some i got talk to on the phone b4 but they like dun relise its me when meet.. lol.But really i have fun there with fish, at huaet, ah gal, gucii, miaoqi, nigel, xiao rain, nova...etc still got some of ahgal's fren also there den we drink and sing songs ah...etc TMD~!!! my song pick for like 4 hours keep stuck at bottom.. lol~ but never mind, for me sing song is cingcai de. At least get to sing a few can le :D later i sing zhao sia den pai seh lo! Okay le... write till here first. Hmm dunno want to go club this coming saturday anot nia. Sianz.~

Just came back home from pubbing : shag! till 6am lo.. dam dam dam shag now.. sianz man forget to take pics there~ Later on wake up den update more :X ZZzzz

Hmm.. dunno clear anot, this is the mail that the friend sends. So weird that this "fren" throw himself to me and its a GUY!!! OMG.. and acts like a girl... now my mao stand liao also... jialuck. Hmm.. also remember one thing about someone who knows her and says about her too. some bad remarks. Found liao den i post up here.