i really have no idea what i am doing now... But, i guess follow my heart again ba.. just one last try? I unblock ivory and started talking to her. Really cannot stand the pain in my heart anymore that she is with another guy. Knowing that she is single from HuiL, thanks for letting me know, somehow, i feel that even thou feel upset but i find that i know a bit more about myself that i should not let this chance go anymore, if not, i will sure regret.

Keep my fingers cross, i dunno what am i doing now. Bt den just drinking beer, smoking and follow my heart all the way.... if really cannot. i guess I have to do it all the way now. Any thing that happen.... i guess that is life and without regret, i should really do serious and delete everything i have and live a life without her popping up.~ Really hurt the last time, dunno and maybe this is the last time i try? the hurt makes me really really bad till i almost cannot breathe.... the thought that she compare me the last time, our relationship... everything... i hate that! i hate every single thing of that~ even thou i remember telling her to choose him, FCK!! choose me instead!! haiz... i hate all those feelings...~~ blog till here... fcking going to drink again till i drop~@!