Maybe everyone can say i am stupid, gong, bai che, idiot, baka... doesn't matter to me. Its been very long time i felt my heart beating again. I wanted her. But just now looking at her that shes going crazy upsets me. Why let her choose and let her be the one who suffer. I rather it be me and see her happy again. Thats y i choose to give up. Maybe its best for her as i see lots of improvement to her with him rather then to me.

Now just reach home, what can i say, Cannot do anything more than i can do now. Heart cursing myself why i choose this road again. ~ Pain! Only beer can smooth it's hurt. Drinking beer again and let myself into another world of mine which i guess only this way is the best. Can't help it but to be the one who leave again. Hating myself more and regret more every little single day. Always giving up at the wrong time. Everything i do is wrong. But to make things up~ it doesn't matter at least i hope i can do some amendments and really hope that i can make her life more happier.

Talked alot this afternoon to her. At least her family likes him more than me. To me, maybe that is also important as he may need some changes to make her happy 4ever. But told him to not make her unhappy again if not i will be the first one to jump to her and try to take her back~ Really felt stupid to give up. Hate the feeling now. Hate myself to be a quiter. I guess thats me, andrew, the only stupid guy in the world.

Remembering the past when i make till all her family piss off by me... To me, maybe its worth it or not worth it, i guess even thou i see progress in her and her mum, at least they started talking sometimes, argue sometime which cannot be avoid i know. Hope she and her family will be happier without me ba i guess. Even if she choose me, i never told her this but i'm scared i could not make it up to her family, relatives...etc Now maybe i am labeled someone who cannot take care of her, not a good guy, not even someone worth for her. I guess thats what i get for butting in too much and trying to make a change. In the past i'm glad that she and her mum get along because they are both piss off by me, seeing them stand up and aiming me. ~Hurt i get. But seeing them as mum and daughter not argueing... very glad for them. At least i tried.

Today got a big headache in the morning and take MC. about 2 days never slept properly le. Maybe i got insomia or what le, tomorrow still need go to work. I guess i got to go in earlier as i missed alot of work today. Think that my colleges cannot handle. Tomorrow even headache, i think got to work more le, work are pilling up every single day. Got to work hard for these few months also. I guess i need to get my job stable more and get more pay den i do nt need to worry so much about every single thing.Haiz..... LIFE SUCKS TO THE MAX.